21st December 2012 was supposed to be the end of the world for all of us but today in Newtown CT the end came a week early for 20 families. Today a 24 year old man went into his mother's classroom, a kindergarten classroom, and slaughtered 20 children, his mother, 6 other adults and then himself. This man had a gun that nobody outside of the military should have a chance to own, that shoots up to 100 rounds per SECOND, wore a mask and a bullet proof vest, was allowed into a school somehow and ended so many little lives. The agony the parents are experiencing this evening has got to be unbearable, I cry just at the thought of the grief, pain and anger they're going through. The sights of so many small children being taken home by relieved and horrified parents, their frightened and confused little faces, will haunt me for the rest of my life. These babies should have been safe, they were supposed to be safe because this school had protocol for situations like this and thank god they did, the mind cringes from the thought of how many more would have died if those protocols had not been practiced and in place.
The mother in me wanted to go immediately to my son's school this afternoon, take him home, wrap him in magical bubble wrap and put him under his bed where it's safe. OF course I didn't do any of that, I waited for him to come home, for my nearly six foot tall 14 year old to take me in his arms so I could cry for children I'll never know and for parents who have just lost reason. When I looked up into my son's face, his handsome, maturing face, I realised that it is honestly only by the grace of god that this has never happened to him or the school he attends or kids he knew. Why that school and not one around here? Why one kid and not another? Why, Why, Why. That's all we're left with right now. I am just grateful that my son is alive, hanging out in a park with his mates, goofin' on each other and having kid fun.
The shooter wanted to hurt his mother, that much is clear, and he was learning disabled. Can someone please explain to me how he was able to purchase a gun like that? Ammo like that? WHY are people in this silly assed country allowed to own such things? When will we learn? When will we make things change so our kids don't have to worry that someone could come into their classroom and kill them? How many more parents, mothers and fathers, will have to grieve the loss of a child due to gun violence? That any children were killed but that 20 were slaughtered is unforgivable. It is time for much stricter gun laws, gun control, including such a screening procedure before you can purchase a gun that they know how often you go to the bathroom much less if you've had a history of mental illness or anything in your past that could somehow set you off. Nobody needs a gun such as was used today, nobody that doesn't belong to a branch of military. Shit even cops don't have guns like that!
My heart and thoughts and prayers are with those in CT tonight, tomorrow and in the weeks that come. May they find strength somehow to go on, to honour those poor little ones in some way so that they did not die in vain.
