As a survivor of child sexual abuse, whenever there is a trial concerning sexual abuse of children I have a certain amount of interest, naturally. The Sandusky trial, I gotta say I have been on pins and needles since it began, I was so afraid he would go free. Maybe it's because of what happened to me, maybe it's a mother's intuition but I honestly could look at him and see the monster in him. Nobody wants to believe an older man like Sandusky, who is this huge hero to so many, is capable of hurting children but all it took for me to believe it was the first time I saw him. He just has something wrong with his eyes. A few weeks after the whole thing hit the airwaves and he was remanded to his home instead of sitting and rotting in a jail cell as he deserved, and when it was reported how every day he would go stand on his front porch to watch the children coming out of school every afternoon with something to drink in his hand, it made me nearly vomit. I love kids, I live near a few schools, I have never done something like that and it makes my skin crawl that he would be so bold as to basically stand there drooling over little boys out in the open and nothing was done to stop it. I'm glad my son didn't go to that school and that Sandusky has never laid his sick, perverted eyes on him. He'll spend the rest of his life in prison and that makes the world just a bit safer. One less predator on the streets. However, my question? What about all those fuckers who knew this was happening, or "thought" it could be happening that did nothing because Sandusky was so famous? Is there a different set of laws for monsters like Sandusky? Just because he's famous and "beloved", does that make it nifty fine that he raped and sexually tortured at least 10 young boys? I swear on every single thing I hold dear to me that if anyone ever did that to my son I would fucking rip them apart with my bare hands and go grinning to prison for it. I know what it's like to feel like you have no control over situations because an adult is doing things to you that they shouldn't be doing. NOBODY better try to hurt my son in any way much less in that way.
My abuser was my father, isn't that an old tale to tell? What I had no idea about is that he also molested most of my 6 male, older cousins. I found that out about 15 years ago. I know the effect that abuse has had on me, on how I grew up, my issues with trust in men and how I view sex...I have also seen how my cousin's dealt with it. The one's he hurt, 2 of them are dead from drug overdoses, the rest are drug abusers and alcoholics and I lay all the blame for that on my father. I have forgiven him for what he did to me because it just got to a point where in order for me to move on with my life and have any sort of a relationship with another person, I had to, however I will never forgive him for hurting so many other children. It's been proven that the second you abuse a child it not only changes who they are but who they were meant to be and it just ENDS so many possibilities for their lives. Children are the epitome of innocence and for an adult to end that innocence...well there's just gotta be a very special place in hell for them, I truly believe that and I'm not a religious person.
It's been said by some of the abused kids that they were not only abused in Sandusky's home, but his wife was home and had to know what was going on and did nothing to stop it. Now I get she was probably afraid to do anything, for herself, her safety, but that's just no fucking excuse. These children who's lives are forever altered in horrible ways should have a chance to sit with this bitch and tell her exactly what her precious husband did to them, in the Sandusky home, when she was home, and then ask her why she didn't do anything to help them. She should be forced to answer them, to look into their eyes and tell them why. My heart breaks for the victims, and we only know of 10, you know there is many, many more. At least one for every single year he had access to that "charity" of his. I want his wife to look into those victim's eyes and tell them that the abuse never happened because he was "too busy" to have done it. Yeah, he was too fucking busy raping young boys in the shower...sure. Bitch should spend the rest of her life in seclusion, and I hope she does, miserable and alone.
Now is the time I wish I hadn't given up drinking 'cos I'd sure love a big old glass of red wine right about now...toasting justice having been done when I was afraid it wouldn't be and because this monster will never, ever hurt another child for the rest of his miserable existence. But really, I'm just gonna go to bed 'cos I gotta get up for work in a bit less than 5 hours...
Well said, Lizzy. {{{{{}}}}}'s My abuser was my Mom. I didn't consciously recall it until one Sunday morning in May of 2009, but had "remembered" it in my dreams my entire adulthood. She did it when she thought I was asleep. However, I am still having 'episodes' of PTSD and I don't know how much I have not recalled yet. I commend you for your courage and strength. I still struggle with the bitterness that she "destroyed who I was meant to be" issue. But then I look at my kids, and think WHY should I feel that way? Look where God led me? =) Sleep well, my friend.
ReplyDelete{{Lizzy}} I'm so sorry for what you went through. No child should ever go through that sort of pain and agony. I feel the same exact way about the people associated with Sandusky. There should be consequences for them as well.
ReplyDeleteWhit, there is always anger and bitterness when this happens to you, and I think you had it much worse because mother's are just...it's just more perverted if you ask me. I could never hurt my PJ in any way much less that way. The bitterness is something you can just shove into a box and put it in a corner of your mind, you can choose to do what you need to do with it. You just have to feel the pain though, go through it, work though it, before you get better. XX
ReplyDeleteTori, thank you for your words...support of friends is really necessary and well appreciated!