Not Guilty?! Seriously?

I'm not sure how I feel about Casey Anthony being found not guilty of murdering her daughter Caylee. I've thought her guilty this entire time to be honest but maybe I didn't have all the evidence? Obviously I didn't. I would like to think that the jury did their job to the absolute best of their abilities and to the letter of the job, and that the defense team was utterly brilliant, but when I close my eyes all I see is a girl partying in the days after her 2 year old daughter went mising. I am a mother of a 12 year old, opinionated son who has always been the most important thing in my life and I can absolutely promise the entire world were he to go missing I would NOT be partying, drinking, dancing or getting tattoo's, but that's just me.

I'm hoping that in the days that come, as the juror's speak and let us know what they thought, about the evidence and how they came to their verdict that they explain it enough for us all to understand. I mean even her parents thought she was guilty! However I'm not convinced her parents are the epitome of virtue anyway, though I don't believe in the sudden abuse claims against her father either. I'm hoping they will go on television soon and say "You didn't see what we saw, hear what we heard and this is exactly why we found her not guilty." and that I'll go "Well duh, I would have found her not guilt also.". As it goes now? I feel an injustice was done to that poor, beautiful, dead little girl.

Of course all I know about is the partying, the photo's of Casey drinking and that tattoo 'Bella Vita"...The Good Life. I suppose that could be in memory of her life with her daughter, that being a mom was the good life, but the timing sucked then. Maybe she just handles stress differently than I do. Just 'cos I would be a basket-case doesn't mean Casey Anthony would. We're probably nothing alike, I hope. I tend to always see the best in people and if I have to be honest? I'm more than a bit niave when it comes to people, I like to think we're all good at heart. I mean sure there are the Jeffrey Dahmer's out there in the world but even he admitted he was a monster and deserved the death penalty for what he'd done, and in the end received that via other inmates. I guess in the end we all get what's coming to us, and Casey Anthony will too. Are we just a rabid culture that wants blood immediately without knowing all the facts? Have we not progressed past those days when people would pay to watch men fight lions? Have we not progressed beyond enjoying watching a public hanging? I mean it disturbs me that I would have been pleased with a guilty verdict, I thought she was guilty, but I wouldn't have wanted her to get the death penalty. Of course Caylee wasn't my kid. See, I'm a bit of a head-case when it comes to this whole thing, I do NOT believe in the death penalty because I feel that every life should be as important as the next, but if someone hurts or takes my son from me and the world? Well that's when I kill that person so I guess I'm safe as that is not the death penalty and it would be a sin I'd gratefully go to hell over.

I'm yammering, excuse me. Back on track now.

Casey Anthony was found not guilty and people are insane over this verdict, most people (myself included as I've admitted) had her tried, convicted and put away. It's driving me nuts what those juror's know that I don't! I honestly thought she would be found guilty, I thought the evidence, the partying, was damning. Obviously it wasn't and I want to know WHY! I'm much too nosey to not know! And what kills me most? It's over now. Casey can do a dance on the tables and laugh and explain exactly how she killed her daughter and nothing could be done about it. Damn that double jeopardy thing. I dunno...this is giving me a headache now...I'm going to keep further opinions to myself until I learn more and I just wonder if she'll serve time for those four counts that she was found guilty on? And I wonder if she does do a year for each count as it's being thought will happen, will some inmate do away with Casey the same way Dahmer was done away with? Those women would sell what soul they have to hold their kids, will they tolerate this young woman to live? I'm sure most of them, that know about this (which I'm sure is just about all of them), will think she's guilty, will they take matters into their own hands? I do believe, down to my soul, that you get what you deserve in the end, OJ did. Maybe OJ isn't in prison for murder but he's where he deserves to be.

I am amazed at the verdict, I cry for little Caylee..that poor baby.

So ok then...

Seems that, whilst whatever is wrong with Blogger, I'm able to get round it. See I had this whole rant about tv commercial's and it was pretty good, but that was like ages ago and I'm not sure I can redo it nearly as well. Crapola. Oh well, here it goes anyway.

So ok who thinks up these tv adverts these days? I mean do they even watch the crap they're putting out there, expecting us to not only believe but that we'll go out and buy these products? I mean ok the one product advert I'm gonna rant on about I've purchased but only 'cos it was on sale, not because of the commercial. The product is mascara. They have either beautiful model's or beautiful actresses selling mascara's today, and we're supposed to believe that her lashes are that long, thick and plentiful because she's using a certain mascara. Well duh, they've also got on false eyelashes and THAT is what makes them look like that. When I bought this certain brand it did totally glop onto my eyelashes, I had to take it off a couple times and reapply to get it look good and I have thick and long lashes, they are just very blonde and nearly invisable without mascara on them. I see no difference in length, fullness or anything different in my eyelashes. None at all. It was waterproof though, 'cos when I saw Spandau Ballet live in Birmingham for the first time in the 25 years I've been a fan (they never toured the US, totally different rant) and I had front row, well the water-works came on and my mascara didn't run! So that was truthful at least.

My other complaint for adverts is how when they are portraying a family setting, the wife is always thin, well put together and young whilst the husband is chubby, balding and usually in sweats. I don't get that, it makes no damned sense to me. Why can't it be a chubby woman in sweats with a fit husband?

Again lets move on to these commercials trying to sell us skin care for us aging women. For dark circles, for wrinkles, for sagging. Ok if you want me to seriously consider buying your product? How about NOT using a model who's all of maybe 25 years old? I mean seriously now! Do they not see what I'm seeing? Practically these women are children and we're supposed to believe they've got dark circles and wrinkles and sagging anything? Please spare me! Use me and my dark circles and put me on your fucking commercial and then we'll see how well your product works 'cos I've used a few and let me tell you, whilst they've all worked a little bit, they did not work very well or enough for me to purchase that product a second time.

Another thing that bugs me is the food commercial's. It's ok for the man to have a big, honkin' steak, potatoes and a beer but then you see the woman is having a small salad. WTF! Why can't she have the steak? That tells me women need to be skinny, hungry, have fake assed eyelashes and look ever youthful. Impossible.

Then we have magazines...who are notorious for airbrushing photographs. Making skinny model's look down right ridiculous as their heads, which are already too big for their skinny bodies, even more grotesque and out of sorts. We're led to believe that women are seriously supposed to look like a Barbie doll in order to be considered attractive. Then we see a show about how teen and preteen girls and boys are becoming more and more anorexic and we shake our heads and wonder why and what we can do to stop this trend. I have a 12 year old son who thinks he's fat 'cos he no longer can fit in slim jeans...because he sees skinny boys his age who aren't even near puberty on tv so much that he doesn't realise that he, who is in full swing puberty, is filling out and becoming a man. I try to keep that sort of crap away from him, and I think how much more difficult it must be for parents of girls, but it's nearly impossible. He's not the sort of kid who follows fads to be honest, but he sees that these kids are shaped different and he doesn't know why he doesn't look like that and because he doesn't he is then fat and no good. Why do we think that fat equals no good? Is it because we think fat people are lazy? That if they just got off their fat asses they'd be thin? Does anyone stop to think beyond that though? Fat is the last taboo, it's the last thing that's ok to make fun of openly, fat people are to be laughed at and ridiculed 'cos lets face it, us fat people don't have feelings nor a reason to exist. @@ When is it going to stop being ok to humiliate people who are over-weight? When will "fat" be in the same catagory as other things that we no longer say out of respect?

Basically, as always, we just have to be intelligent when we watch tv and see these adverts, but then it's not always easy is it. I mean if I go out and get that mascara tomorrow....maybe I won't look so fat and some guy will fall in love with me and I'll look younger than I am if I rub some of that lotion on my face...maybe....

I think I've figured it out...

But in case I haven't....

Is it just me?

So I've done 2 postie/bloggie thingies...the first one disappeared and the second one just refused to publish...fun times. So it'll take a bit longer for my next rant...and it was such a well thought out rant too!!

Honestly...

New blog coming soon! Gathering my thoughts, which is never easy.

THIS IS THE SOUND OF MY SOUL!!!

Yeap, that's a line from one of the most well known songs of all time, and one of the most well loved as well! Spandau Ballet's True! When that song was at it's height I was in beauty school. Now when you're in beauty school (hush with the beauty school drop out jokes, I graduated.....eventually) you go Tuesday through Saturday, Saturday being 8 hours and my god it couldn't be any more boring if it tried! So anyway I'd be sitting by the driers, writing my fun stories as I used to do back then, and would hear True at least 3-4 times! In an 8 hour span!! No wonder why it's not one of my favourite songs right?! I think Gary Kemp would feel the same way....oh wait, he probably played it sooooooo many times...nevermind. Sometimes thoughts scamper across my brain but have to be thrown out due to incredible silliness. So yeah there were 3 bands I followed back in the glorious 80z were Spandau Ballet, Duran Duran and Depeche Mode. Now it's not surprising to find that I still follow those bands, that they still make me scream and act 15 (which is a step up from how I normally act)! Recently, like April, I got to see Duran Duran live yet again, with my bestest pal ever Wendy, which is something we've managed to NOT do since 1987 and the Strange Behaviour tour!! The boys played the House of Blues as it wasn't a proper tour, just testing the waters to be honest, and it was fantastic! I've always wanted to see them in a smaller venue like that, where it's all good seating so you can see the guys well! I tell you, they may all be in their 50's now (except for Mr. Nick Rhodes, who just hit 49 on the 8th of June) but let me assure you that they are still amazing! Those men can still put on an electric show that pleases the audience and hopefully satisfies something in them so they continue to please us! I mean it is a give and take right? So lets get a bit...how to put it...shallow shall we? My god they looked good! If John Taylor gets any sexier he's going to have to start....I don't know what he'll have to do but MY GOD! And then there's my beloved Simon Lebon....even with face fur that man is still so incredibly sexy that he gives every woman he comes into contact with, even from across a room, that dirty little tickle we love so much! Those eyes of his promise so much....damn it. lol WHOOHOO! Ok let me just real quick jump in a cold shower, I'll brb.....

So yeah I'm back, drippy and calmer now. Where was I? Oh I can't go back there...so I'll go instead to Mr. Lebon being ill! Now whatever it is his throat is doing to him better calm the fuck down and let that voice go back to what it was before damn it! I feel bad for the guys, esp Simon, that they've had to cancel so many shows but hey, when the singer can't sing what can you do right? I just pray it's nothing serious, that he's just healing slowly...so all the healing vibes in the world HEAD TO SIMON LEBON!!!

I think I got into Spandau Ballet just a widdle bit before Depeche Mode, and I know exactly how and why I got into Spandau Ballet. I know the exact second. I know exactly what I was doing. I remember it because I was at my friend Wendy's house watching the premier of the video for Do They Know It's Christmas!!! "HE" was in the video because "HE" is in Spandau Ballet, and it was just a second and a half of him playing his guitar, turning towards none other than the spectacular JOHN TAYLOR that had me jumping up and down, pointing and asking "WHO IS THAT! WHO IS THAT!". Ended up it was Gary Kemp. It was that smile of his that got me. I can still, to this day, point to that exact second too and feel that giddyness...ridiculous as it is. I remember rushing out and spending LOADS of money on Spandau Ballet merchandise. I'd have to say, however, the biggest disappointment to me was that the one time they were going to tour America they had to cancel and I didn't get a chance to see them live. UNTIL 2009 THAT IS! Yeap I had to wait until 24th October 2009 to finally see my boys live but I will say this, it was well worth the wait! Such an amazing band, so amazing to see the five of them on stage finally even though I had to travel all the way to Birmingham, England (ironically as Spandau are from London and Duran are from Birmingham) to get this chance! Oh darn, made 2 dreams come true in one fell swoop!! England was as beautiful as I always dreamed it was, even more so as some of the things I did see I never imagined and especially how fantastic my friends were to me and especially how friendly the people of Birmingham that worked at the LG Arena were! I'd wait all those years again to see them live....except I don't know if it would be the same as they'd mostly be in their 70z and I'd be in my 60z....lol

So that leaves Depeche Mode. I love them so much that when I was pregnant with my PJ they were pretty much all I listened to! So it came to pass that they ended up being PJz favourite band ever! He enjoys Duran Duran as well as some of his fathers heavy metal puke bands...ugh. Anywhoooooo.....as with his mother, PJz first live show he ever saw was Duran Duran, he's seen them twice now, and he's gotten a chance to see Depeche Mode once! He was 7 and standing on his chair behind me and when he hit the stage PJ started jumping up and down screaming THERE'S MARTIN GORE MAMA! THERE'S MARTIN GORE!!! I still don't know how I feel about that...that he idolises Martin Gore....lol Just kidding, I adore Mr Gore. He is so incredibly talented and so sinfully underappreciated! I hope they do something soon 'cos both of us are going into spasms, needing new Mode!!!

These days I gotta admit music sux. Bigtime. There are no longer different genre's like there were back in the day, it's all cRap. At least here in Chicago it is. Music in England has always been and still is way better. I do, oddly enough, like Lady Gaga....she's not doing anything new (hello Madonna) but she does it with such style! I like a lot of the messages her music carries, especially how she tells kids to enjoy being different, to be strong. Kids need someone like her telling them that they're weird yes, but it's cool! It gives them strength! I'm all for kids going out there and expressing themselves 'cos if they don't do that how the hell will they ever know who they truly are? My kid is going to be the next George Lucas. I really believe that, and more to the point, so does he.

There is one band that are new...young...that I'm wild about. The Editors! I can't get enough of their music! They're from Birmingham (England, of course) and their sound is just fab! I also love Palace Fires (who have their first album out and available via iTunes), Muse (PJ also likes them a lot as they sound a bit like Queen meets Depeche Mode meets U2) and a few others that I don't feel like typing out right now. I'm bored. Actually that's a lie, my back is absolutely screaming at me to go lay the fuck down so lay the fuck down I shall! I can't wait for this back to heal already!!!

Seriously, people?

So this past Monday, whilst at work, I bent over to put blankets away in a closet and I hurt my back really bad. Now lets remember that I work in a hospital ok? So I got up as slowly as I could, I nearly blacked out, I literally saw stars and everything was weirdly brighter so I knew I'd really done some damage to my lower back. I was staring at a nurse with pain written all over my face, she asked what happened and I told her then went to sit on a chair that happened to be in the hallway, she did nothing for me to help me. I could hardly walk and this freaked me out 'cos I was like did I just fuck something up so bad in my back that I'd not be able to walk again? NOBODY helped me. In a hospital. Surrounded by nurses. Amazing right? So I hobbled back down to where my area is, after finishing my deliveries of course 'cos I knew I'd get in trouble, hurt ot not, if I didn't finish. I was wheeled by a co-worker to the ER and they took good care of me but I still cannot believe how not one of those nurses helped me. When I was walking I was really holding onto the cart I had and had tears streaming down my face. NOBODY helped me or asked if they could help me. I was completely ignored. Nice right? It just blows me away how these people, who are supposed to be there to help, did nothing. One nurse especially, the one that knew I'd hurt my back. I don't think I was expecting too much, was I? On top of all of this the reason why I hurt my back is because the closet I was putting linen in had a whole bunch of stuff on the floor and I sorta tripped over it. So now I'm torn on whether or not I should make a deal out of this. I don't want to be the cause of anyone getting fired but seriously, to not help someone in obvious pain? Of course I realise that everyone's gonna say they didn't notice me and mostly I'm sure that's gonna be true, but I know the one nurse not only knew but she ignored me completely.

I was talking to my best friend about how horrible things have gotten these days where you hear about people getting attacked or a woman getting raped and other people knowing about it but doing nothing about it. Are we really that horrible now? Have we sunk to the level where we just don't care about what happens to other people? Why don't we help when help is obviously desperately needed? How would I react in a situation where someone needed intervention? I'd like to think I'd at least call the police or get help somehow and I really think I would. I remember once when I was working in the mall and I saw a mother literally punch her 3 year old son in the chest because he wanted to see the Easter Bunny and I did get security involved and I did get in between her and the little boy, but what if it were a man? Would I have been that brave to do such a thing? What if I saw a woman being beaten by a man? Would I have the strength to get between them? I guess it's just something that would have to happen for me to know the truth. I'd like to think that if I didn't notice some sort of weapon in the guys hand that I would get involved, if only to yell that I'd phoned the cops. Knowing me though? I'd probably throw something at the guy! Who knows.

Anywhoo my back is killing me so I'm outtie!