RELIEF!!!

I'm tired, exhausted and relieved that the world didn't end!!

FYI

It's a worky weekend so I probably won't post anything until at least Sunday night...if I'm still alive. I mean tomorow IS the end of the world and all don't forget!! ;o)

Various Musings...

So first things first.....

I had today:

1 yogurt w/granola
blueberry bread
some noodly thing for lunch
water
1 soda
unbreaded fish
corn
2 small chicken legs, baked

So again, feel good about not eating like a pig again!

Now onto various musings!!

I noticed something as I was driving home from the restaurant today and it struck me as so...sad. 2 people were waiting for the bus, a man and a woman. The man had his back to the woman and was reading a paper. Now what's sad to me is that here's two people waiting together but not speaking. Now I'm a chatty person so I usually bu...er...just start talking away when doing something like waiting for a bus, an elevator, anything really. I think I get it from my grandmother who would talk to anybody. I mean what a better way to spend a few moments of time waiting around than to have a conversation? Even if it's to bitch about the crap weather we've been having here in Chicago....grrr. Why do people just ignore each other like that? Are they afraid the other person is going to reject their offer of conversation? Slap them? Call the cops? Shoot them? I mean ok, you shouldn't judge someone by the way they look but sometimes it's hard not to and I figure if you want to look scary then prepare yourself to scare people. I mean back in my punk rock days? Of which there are NO PHOTO'S 'cos I'm smart like that. I knew I freaked people out so I wasn't offended or shocked when I freaked them out. I made fun of them. Like when me and my friend John had dyed our hair vivid blue and went to the local mall. Now in the late 80z it wasn't as commonplace as it is now and I remember this woman actually grabbed her toddler to her when she saw us. As if we were gonna either eat him or run off with him. So what do I do? I screamed "OH MY GOD JOHN IT HAPPENED AGAIN! YOUR HAIR IS BLUE!!!!" to which he screamed, covered his head in "shame" and ran. I nearly pee'd my pants laughing. The woman stomped off in a huff but wtf did she expect? I mean seriously. IT'S HAIR!!! It's not like either of us had horns and a tail and a forked tongue for fuck's sake! Seriously! BTW, I so gotta STOP saying seriously all the time, I mean really! @@ Anywhoo...I find it sad how people don't communicate if they don't have to. You can learn quite a bit about things that maybe you didn't know in a short time, I mean that person next to you that you've never met? He/She may know something that you don't that will change your life! Probably. Maybe not but are you going to risk it? I'm not. So on and on I chatter to people, who 99% of the time chatter right back!

Funny kitties!!

I have 3 cats, Thomas, Raelyn and Cressida. Cressida's the baby and Raelyn hates every inch of her guts but hey, Cress isn't that thrilled with RaeRae either. Thomas is a laid back baby and plays with both his girls. Thomas and Raelyn are fully grown cats, hell Thomas is nearly 12 years old, but they both eat poor Cressida's kitten food, it must be better tasting than regular cat food. Oh well, tough. They get hungry enough they'll eat it, right? As I live and breathe and type, Thomas is finally eating his own food! Talk about perfect timing! The biggest problem I'm having now is the fact that both girls hate each other but Raelyn adds to it using the bathtub as a litterbox....soooooo I went and bought her her own covered litterbox. Sure I know there is absolutely no way to keep the other two out of her litterbox, I don't mean it's literally hers but she's why I went and got it, so I hope she appreciates it. Hurumph. Cressida is running around like a kitty who lost her kitty mind right now, Raelyn isn't impressed nor is Thomas, but that's just 'cos she's running full speed and sliding into him as he's trying to eat. Poor Thomas. ;o)

I've had Thomas since he was a year old so he's my old boy. When we got him, for my birthday, I had another cat called Lestat and he was the kitty love of my life, the first cat I ever had. In 2007 I noticed poor Lestat's health was getting worse and worse, he was 16 years old and losing weight rapidly. At full health Lestat was a big boy, robust but not fat and just the sweetest baby ever. When I first got him, he saved my life. How? Well this was back in 1991, my brother and I had spent a lot of money on each other for our Xmas gift, we went in half on a 500 dollar VCR. So in April, barely a month after I got him, we were having a wicked thunderstorm with brilliant yet dangerous lightening (I'm a thunderstorm enthusiast) so, because the outlet that the VCR was plugged into was connected to an outlet on the outside of the condo, on our balcony, I went to unplug it because I didn't want lightening to fry it. Just as I went to unplug the thing, yeap, lightening hit it, but instead of me touching the plug at the time? Lestat ran full blast right into me, knocking me over just enough that I wasn't electrocuted. Good kitty eh? The VCR was fried, of course, but I was still alive and from that moment on? Lestat was a very, very pampered baby. So when I noticed he was sick I went and found out that he had cancer so this one weekend I noticed him take a turn for the worse, I had planned for him to be put down Monday morning but my boy decided to pass away in the basement by himself. That was a horrible thing to find, my beloved Lestat dead on a cold floor, alone. I still hurt over that. He should have died in my arms, knowing I loved him. I have his ashes and I never thought I'd ever feel for another cat what I felt for Lestat but then there was Thomas. I swear he gave me a couple days and then became glued to my side. He really helped me through losing my Lestat and turned into this goofy cat that had nothing but sweet meow's for me and nuzzles. I may not love him like I loved Lestat but that's just 'cos you can never love any 2 things the same way. When it's his turn I will keep his ashes also, but god I hope that's years and years and years away.

So I have these crazy cats now, 2 girls who hate each other and a guy who's just laid back and watches it all. I swear if it's the last thing I do I'll get my girls to be at least tolerated pals!

Weekend

Well my bad on the not blogging this weekend but it was cold and dreary here so all PJ and I did was curl up in our beds and watch tv, and watched a film together in the evening. I got a bit of writing done, but seemed to run out of steam. Depressing weather, cold as in not even 55 degrees (maybe not even 50 today) in mid May is just gross.

Anyway I don't remember everything I ate, again my bad, but I know I stuck to my diet. Especially the yogurt and granola breakfast, which has quickly become my favourite part of the day! I love that! The granola is fat free and low calorie. So that part of the weekend was good.

I'm working on my next rant, it should be done soon!

Welcome Back Me!

So couldn't really start my diet thingy yesterday as Blogger was down the entire day. Here's what I ate though.

Thursday> I began my day @4am for work.

1 yogurt
1 cup of granola for yogurt
3 bottles of water
1 sandwich on whole grain wheat bread
1 container/serving of 100 calorie potato chips
2 pork chops, thin cut, cooked in Olive Oil and spices
1 cup apple sauce
1 cup noodley thing
1 cup vanilla ice cream


Friday> Began my day @4am for work.

1 yogurt
1 cup granola for yogurt
3 bottles of water throughout my work day
1 can Pepsi (only had 3 hours of sleep so I needed the caffeine!)
2 left over pork chops
3 table spoons apple sauce
1 table sauce noodley thing
1 serving size of veggie sticks
2 cups spaghetti w/mushrooms


So it seems I'm not doing so bad eh? I figure if I want ice cream, I'll have it, just won't eat the entire thing! I eat vanilla because it's lactose free and I can only find it in vanilla. Am very VERY lactose INtolerant, cannot even think about cheese without getting stomach cramps! I get very, very ill. Work is all the exercise I need so I don't walk or anything. No seriously, I cart these bins of linen around that weigh anywhere from 200lbs to 700 so I think after 8 hours of that? I'm all exercised! Plus walking all over the hospital and lifting heavy linen and bending and reaching? Yeah, exercise, check. :o) I am seriously considering getting one of those dance games for the XBox 360, like I said we have the Kinect for it and since PJ never used it once, I may as well right?! I LOVE to dance and don't consider that exercise 'cos it's fun and I know for a fact that you can lose a lot of weight doing that 'cos I've done it before!

So yeah, there ya go, my new way of life. It's not a diet, it's just...life. I know once I start to look better I'll feel better and it'll just go on from there.

The Time Has Come

It's time for me to take control of my life and my weight problem. I have a gorgeous 12, nearly 13 year old son that I have to take care of and if I keep on the path I'm on right now? I won't be here to see him graduate high school. So ok I've had enough. I will no longer be slave to my tongue and eat just 'cos it tastes good. I know what my issues are and I will work through them, either here by confronting them or within myself. I mean I know why I don't control myself when it comes to food, I don't want men to be attracted to me because I am not ready to handle it if they were. I've never been ready to be honest, my exhusband was just easy to be around. So I'm going to have to learn to deal with all of this as I lose the weight. Starting tomorrow I am going to write down everything I eat and then explain why I ate it whether it be because I had to for fuel or because I was depressed or whatever, I have to be responsible for whatever I put in my huge gob. I've already got high blood pressure, though that's not due to the weight issues, it's my kidney's and that's due to taking so much Tylenol, because of my weight my joints hurt. So lose the weight, no more pain. It's all connected.

So there you have it, me changing my life. I think I'm gonna get one of those games for the 360, one of those dance games, that would be a fun work out! Plus we have the Kinect thing so.....way fun!