You Know What?!

You wanna know what I find to be incredibly sad? The fact that I'm American, born and raised, I'm a good person, I work, I pay my bills and I pay taxes and I cannot afford health insurance. Now I know there are PLENTY of people out there in the same boat as me and that's even heaping the sad on top of the pile of sad! HOW are so many millions of people, who are brought up being told that this is the greatest country in the world and we're lucky to live here, who live in the richest country in the world and the most powerful, please explain how these people do not have health insurance? I'm 43 years old and I'm having health issues, big time. I'm on blood pressure meds for extreme high blood pressure that is, surprisingly, not because of my weight problem but because of my kidneys, they're in pretty poor shape. I also can feel that my heart needs some attention and it scares the living shit out of me! I do not NOT want to die damn it and why the fuck can I not go to a doctor and get some fucking help?! I mean I'll pay as much as I can afford, which granted isn't much, but that's just not good enough! And I don't think it's down to the doctors at all either! I think there would be a lot of doctors who would help people like me who need help to get healthy again and have us pay what we can afford but they can't. Why? Insurance companies of course. And who is so completely against health care reform? Republican's. Why? Because they're rich and all have health care that I'M FUCKING PAYING FOR! I have to say that my utter hatred of anything Republican has grown tremendously since 2008, seeing how horribly racist most of them are and the lies they'll tell just too keep a black man out of the White House was a very sad awakening I suppose. I mean sure I know there are racists out there, I come into contact with them every single day 'cos ya know, we white's have to stick together (was told this at the weekend). However I didn't think rich white people would be so bloody open about it. And I don't care if someone reading this is Republican and insists that I'm wrong, I've seen it with my own eyes so don't piss on my leg and tell me it's raining! The things this President has had to deal with, you know-BEYOND being the President of the United States of America and all the stresses that brings along-but all this bullshit that he's not American and blah blah blah...utterly ridiculous. Childish I would say except my child doesn't act that way and never has. So much hate in the world and then you have an entire political party adding fuel to the hatred fire and giving reason to those among us who don't come across hatred easily to hate...which yes I'm aware is my downfall and nobody elses, but sometimes it's just impossible to not. I'm only human after all.

So back to healthcare and the lack of it that I have. When I found out I have high blood pressure I was at work, I work in a hospital so I was rushed to the ER, even though I demanded not to be 'cos I felt fine and I have no insurance...$1700.00....well WHO THE FUCK is gonna pay that? I can't! I can barely keep a roof over my head and that of my son! My child support is a fucking joke and believe you me, I've been trying for nearly 3 fucking years now to get my child support raised...but that's just more political bullshit run around and red tape. They send you forms to fill out which ok I don't get...WHY do you need to know how much I make and what my bills are?!! I'm NOT paying child support, I'm RECEIVING child support! I don't care if I'm Oprah Winfrey rich (which is ok and she's earned every single penny of what she has 'cos she's worked her butt off for a very long time to get where she is), my exhusband is the father of our son and by Illinois law has to pay 20% of his wages before taxes for his care...end of! Ok anyway, they send out this form for me to fill out and it'll have a date of say 1st May 2011 lets say, I'll get it on the 12th May 2011 and it'll say this form has to be returned within 14 days of the date on top of the form or else the case will be closed. Now I've even overnighted my form about six times, guaranteeing that it's there in time and still 2 weeks later I get a letter stating that they did not receive...blah blah blah...so my case has been closed. Then there's the phone number. I'm convinced of one of two excuses because when you call this number they give you? YOU NEVER GET THROUGH! I've called at exactly 8am when the phone lines open and have gotten a recording that all the operators are busy and that the wait time is exceptional to please call back the next day!! WTF! I'm thinking that either A) There is only 1 fucking operator or B) there is NO operator. I can think of no other reason why I have not, since February of 2009, I shit you not, been able to get through to a single human being. Talk about unacceptable! My exhusband is making about 3 grand more than he was making when we divorced, this would make my payment per month go up around 400 dollars...I mean who wouldn't need an extra 400 bucks a month? Me and my son could actually LIVE if we got what he is legally supposed to be paying and it's not even really his fault. It's all taken automatically out of his check every payday, he does nothing, he's a good dad. A rare animal. On top of it all? Get this shit....he gets paid every 15th and last day of the month...I have to wait an entire week after he gets paid to get my payment...and it's taken automatically don't forget...however, most of the time his pay day's will be on a Friday so I'll only have to wait until the following Friday, but sometimes, like this month, the last day will end in the middle of the week. So instead of him getting paid this Friday he won't get paid until Tuesday of next week I believe....but will I get my payment the following Tuesday? Oh no. It'll take an extra up to FOUR FUCKING DAYS on top of the 7 I normally have to wait. AND IT'S ALL AUTOMATICALLY DONE!!! WTF! Ok I'm done ranting about this.

I'm going back to healthcare. My best friend also doesn't have healthcare and she works too. I believe her son doesn't have it either but as far as I know we have a law here that no hospital can turn away a child if they have no insurance. The state will pay for them. I know I could go through the state to get healthcare and that's what I'm obviously going to have to do but it's ridiculous that I have to! How come every other organised country in the world has healthcare that actually takes care of it's citizen's but we don't? I honestly don't know how people can turn their back's so thoroughly on other people and say that they can't afford healthcare then they don't deserve it. I can't believe people won't put forth some of their income to make sure other's have what they don't appreciate. I don't have 2 nickles to rub together but I always give when I can and that's probably more often than it should be. I'm the sort of sucker who gives a couple bucks to that bum on the street when I know what he/she is gonna spend it on isn't good for them but hey, if it gets them through that night a bit happier? Who am I to say no to that? I have always said that the government should just let normal people do the budget. Let us see where our money is going to and I guarrantee this supposed deficit isn't nearly as big as it is, that we'd be able to say "ok we so do not need to spend this much money on this, that and the other.". I'm not saying there would be a surplus but it'd be a better deal. The thing that cracks me up the most is how these fat cat politicians give themselves fucking raises every single year...as if they've earned it. Gimme a break, most of 'em don't earn a nod and grin from us much less what are they doing this year, a 47% raise? Something like that. WHERE IS MY FUCKING RAISE!? IF I get a raise this year it'll be a whopping 20 cents...whatever will I do with all that extra dosh coming in? I guess that trip back to England will be back on!! ::insert dripping sarcasm here:: 47% raise....god I wish.

Ok my fingers are sore so I'm gonna get off this thing...I'm tired also of hearing me screaming in my head over things I can't change.